this just in

im taking a little break from life inside my own head for a bit

i promise to bring the lawls as soon as i feel better, bbs

xo

So...he's dead...and he's frozen...

This is the most fantastical thing I have ever seen, and I cannot WAIT!!!! Liz and Bree are taking Colorado by storm!!!!

tourism isn't dead but this dude is

Hello all, Liz here from the sunny rocky mountains in Colorado. I just heard about this crazy little town here called "Nederland." Apparently in 1989 a man and his mother came here from Norway. They brought their dead grandfather/father's body with and continued to freeze it on dry ice until 1993 when the young man was deported. His mother then had to keep adding dry ice to her father's dead body in the shed in their backyard. She was evicted a few years later for not having electricity or running water. She told the authorities that she was worried that leaving the house would result in her father thawing out. Since then the man has been moved to a tuff shed with real cryogenics. You can still go and take tours of this shed and they even have a yearly festival called "Frozen Dead Guy Days" every March. They break through the ice and go swimming, they have parades and costume contests and a ball named "Grandpa's Blue Ball." I am trying to convince my family to check this town out because it sounds hilariously awesome and I want to see a frozen dead guy.
Anyone free in March?
Click here for more info on the events.

Poor Little Guy!

We here at PnM were saddened to learn of the arrest of our dearly beloved Patrick Vaughn Stump(h).

Out of respect for his awesomeness, we will not be posting his mugshot, because he's hatless, and posting a picture of him without a hat on his adorable little head would be rude. We may be many things...obnoxious...ridiculous...annoying...but rude? Rude we are not.

We will, however, defend him to the death if anyone says anything bad about him, as it seems that the situation was simply a misunderstanding of residency/license laws on his behalf.

That means you, Perez.

Be nice, cuz we love you, too!!

Also, Bree would like to point out that she is now certain that she and Patrick are meant for each other. He, with his driving without a license arrest. She, with her driving without a license ALMOST arrest. They're a match made in criminal Heaven!!

Bonjour!

Apparently someone from France visited PnM.

I squealed.

I need to get out more.

This....

is freaking BRILLIANT!!!

Things That Annoy Me

Ranch freaking Dressing.



Why is it in EVERYTHING?


Also, all of the people that freak the hell out when I tell them I don't like Ranch Dressing. They can't seem to wrap their minds around the fact that someone thinks their beloved buttermilky treat tastes like absolute crap.

SotD

Panic!!!!!!!!!at the Disco, New Perspective

their new song, amazingly lovely

oh, and just for fun...
Fall Out Boy, Grand Theft Autumn (Where Is Your Boy)

GO!

BotW

This week's BotW post is dedicated to the fact that Spencer Smith no longer looks like this:

wow...just....WOW

Oh heavens!

During last nights Blink 182 show, during the FOB set, the backdrop fell on Patrick about 10 seconds into their first song. He was stuck behind it for a few seconds, then it fell on him completely.

Hello!

Sorry for the delay. Life interfered with my lack of a life for a bit. There will be Beard-os and Annoyances and Songs and whatever else I can manage to cram into today coming soon. I promise. In the meantime, enjoy this:

Things That Annoy Me

I'm starting yet another new feature here at PnM.

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME!

Today's TTAM is a small thing, yet it drives me batshit cray to the zee:

I absolutely can't stand it when people spell "y'all" as "ya'll". It makes no sense, you bozos! It's a contraction between "ya", that lovely bastardized version of "you", and "all". Replacing the "a" from "all" with an apostrophe makes the pronounciation completely assbackwards. Try saying it. It comes out all "ya ell". It's quite obvious that it is the "a" from "ya" being replaced, THEREFORE! the apostrophe goes between the "y" and the "a".

So y'all knock it off, ya hear?!

i concur

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Probably the best BotW to date!

I know that this is technically NOT a beard, but!

IT'S SO FREAKING AWESOME! He makes me want to have a Beard-o of the Year vote in December, cuz there's no way he wouldn't win.

Maybe I'll send him that extra gold pony I've got layin' around.

stupidpicturecuttingoffblogsitesaywhaaaat?

I would just like to send out a big "fuck you" to blogspot for consistently cutting off the adorable pictures of cats I find.

Every time, baby, ev.ery.time. Congrats.

Meow Mix

LOLCats: Always there to make you feel better about yourself


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

cheeky little squirrel

In honor of our 100th post Bree and I have decided to exchange our header for something a little more recent in pop culture. Here are the ones we had to chose between.




As awesome as our faces are in the prison one I think we made the right choice.

these are a few of my favorite things...

In honor of, well, absolutely nothing, I have decided to compile a list of my favorite moments that I have experienced with my best friend in the whole entire universe, Lizz. Also, I have decided* it's more fun to spell her name with two z's....you know...like jizz? Only Lizz. Got it? Good. Here we go.

In no particular order....
1. Driving all the way from Minneapolis to the Biz, the entire time making band plans that are completely ridiculous, and therefore AWESOME
2. The entire 36 hours we spent in Chicago, from finally getting to sleep, to climbing on gorillas at 1 am, to beating up Ronald McDonald

3. Believers Never Die, Deux they? No, they certainly don't. Creepy looks from Pete, me strangling Patrick, security guy getting hit in the face with a bra right after he finishes singing "Poker Face"...such good times!

4. Bathroom Salon time

5. I know getting home sucked, but Walmart in Godonlyknowswhere, Minnesota was a good time...up to a certain point. I believe we broke some Vitamin Water?

6. The time I completely fangirled out at YWT when I saw Patrick, and you tried to not act embarrassed to be the person who was there with me

7. Hey Pete, we brought you a sequined jacket! Now put it on.

8. We went to Applebee's on the first last night in Minne, had one drink, and managed to get way too silly. I remember heading to another floor (because hotels in Minne are set up stupidly, apparently) to get ice to keep the ice cream cold (because that worked so well with the pie. see #13), and we were in our pajamas with effed up hair, and this couple got off the elevator, and they were all dressed up, and they gave us scathing looks, cuz we're hooligans.

9. Also, the leaky toilet, and the black-and-curly on the bedspread we made Jesse sleep with.

10. This is a big one, because I will never be able to thank you enough...the Boner Party show. You got me 5 feet from Patrick, signing at the top of his Stumpy little lungs, gyrating like a porn star with a guitar. And I got to be there with someone who freaks out just as much over every little grunty groany noise that makes. Thank you.

11. The dude from the Chicago hotel that kept trying to give me directions to give to you over the phone at 3:30 in the morning? I think he saved both our lives. You'd still be driving, and I'd still be bumming in the lobby.

12. You finding Ryro picking his nose. Priceless.

13. Our makeshit (yes, that is spelled correctly, because that's what it accomplished) refrigerator, the pie box filled with ice. And the ensuing flood.

14. Sasqwatch, and the bathtub people. BOB!

I'll throw some more out there some day when I'm feeling extra crazy. Or on another day I lose a ton of blood out of one finger.

*in all actuality, I simply put an extra z by accident, and didn't feel like going back and fixing it.

Unfortunate Incidences of Camel Toe

It is deeply disturbing to me when bad camel toe happens to good people. I know this girl. She is good people. I also see her camel toe, and it is bad.

please sir, may i have some more?

notable moments:

1:07

1:38

Beard-o of the Week

I can't believe it took us this long to post this particular Beard-o, as he is their creepy fucking KING, but here he is....

King of the Heebie-Jeebies, Andy Hurley. Don't get too close. I'm pretty sure he bites.

brb, going to Russia

where can I get a bike like that?



wish my dad was into the circus...

Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, fatso

These girls are fantastic. This song has been stuck in my head for days. It's quite catchy.

Check out more of their videos here, or you can just search youtube for Garfunkel and Oates.

New Feature!

There's a new little bucket o' fun in our sidebar, and we here at PnM are happy to tell you about it! Introducing.....

"thatswhatshesaid"!

Liz and myself have had some fantastic adventures around the midwest, and there were so many little inside jokes and random phrases with such complicated back stories that we couldn't really put them in posts, so!

Now there's a place for us to share random, meaningless little phrases with you! Some of them uttered by either Liz or myself, some of them spouted from the mouths of the boys from Panic!, Fall Out Boy, and others. Want to know for sure? Just ask!

Someone Give Me Some Money For This...

I have had a genius idea. Someone front the money, and I'm all over starting this entire enterprise....

Smack-A-Grams!!

Is your boss pissing you off? Your mom so far up your ass about getting a job that your eyes are crossed?! Your girlfriend cockblocking you at every turn?!?!

With Smack-A-Grams, you could simply call their easy 800 number (hopefully, 1-800-SMACK-A-BITCH), and they would send someone to the offenders home. When your boss/mother/cockblocker answers the door, BAM! they get smacked in the face!

You could even choose the method of the smack! Open handed? You got it! White leather glove? Not a problem! Big black penis? IT CAN BE DONE!


I'll be waiting patiently at my mailbox for your check, yo.

pony update!

This is what happens when you leave Bree, a My Little Pony and a gold leafing pen alone in a room for more than 10 minutes.


A friend of mine was up for some ridiculously geeky award, the statue for which is ADORABLE. I decided I wanted one. And obviously I deserve one, because it took me about half an hour to realize I had the supplies to MAKE ONE!

Also, if you read the nomination page, he got disqualified. Oops. Guess he'll have to make his own, too.

"make sure that your eyebrows scream 'bitch'"

It has recently come to our attention that this hbc needs to be our bff. Imagine the hijinks... anyway, she is my current hero and you must watch her videos and give her good feedback.

ponieeeees!

please kindly disregard all the other things on my desk, as the ponies are way more important

duh

ch-ch-ch-check it out!

This website is too awesome to pass up. I drank a bottle of Beringer White Zinfandel in about an hour, after which I decided to do a bunch of obnoxious things on Facebook, which led me to google "famous jews", which brought me to THIS incredible internet amazement: Heebz.com. I shit you not, that's what it's called.

Was "famousjewishpeoplewhohavecontributedmuchtosocietyasawhole.org" already taken?!??!

SotD

This is the one time this is going to happen. Don't expect it to happen EVER again. Not in a week. Not in a month. Not in a year. Not in SEVENTY years. This is the once in a lifetime SotD by a band that I hate to the depths of my soul.

"Burn it to the ground" by Nickelback.

I despise this band. I hate them. I hate the lead singers voice. I hate his stupid ugly hair. I hate his dumb last name. I hate all of their songs. All but one. This one. This one, I FUCKING LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beard-o Of The Week

This week's BotW is delicious.

Why? you inquire.

Because we've had our share of grotesque-ocity lately, and I wanted to look at someone and drool.

That's why.

Don't question my authority again, fucker.

Ryan Gosling. I think I'm gonna go watch "The Notebook". Twice.