Ol' What's his name

I don't normally post things from my own personal life here on PnM (yes, it's been known to happen, but usually in a comical and/or inserted type of way), but since I decided that if I had heard about this from someone, I would definitely have posted about it, I figured, eh, what the hell? (Just call me the future Mrs. Kroeger) (on second thought, DON'T)

Yesterday was the funeral for my uncle (my dad's younger brother). I didn't know him that well, he wasn't around us much. Old school family dramas and the like. His name was James. My grandma called him Jamie. We called him Jim. Some called him Jimmy, and someone yelled out "Jed!" yesterday, so I guess they called him that, as well. The minister? He called him Jeremy. Twice.

James/Jamie/Jim/Jimmy/PossiblyJed/Jeremy had a pet snake. He called him John. I called him Ucky. The minister called him Harold/Howard.

I was not a key figure in the funeral, I just sat quietly in my corner, listening intently. For an hour and a half (I thought funerals were usually like...what....half hour? 20 minutes if nobody liked you?). The minister read the obituary. My name was said 5 times. Dramatically wrong. My insistence that he "move on, it's fine" went unnoticed. (It should be noted that about 15 minutes before this, we had a 2 minute conversation about how to pronounce my name) But I fared better than my brothers. Their names didn't get pronounced, right or otherwise. Grandma later stated that the minister "kept looking away from his cards and losing his place".

The moral of the story: please hold my funeral service at a home that has teleprompters. Thank you, and good night.

It's time for.....

Bizarre Youtube Videos with Bree!!!!

Welcome, welcome. Gather 'round, children. Today I have found something....well, it terrified me. In a weird adorable way.

So there's this cat video. I'll give you a couple minutes to watch it. Because that's like...how long it is.

Alright so let's get this party started. First thing...why are you using toy cats? When I googled "cats on parade", I wanted to see some live feline adorableness. Instead I got stuffed, Made-in-China, glass-eyed stop motion. All I can figure is that Bob and Trudi (The Shermans, if you like) have a house full of children's toys for some inexplicable reason. Anyone that actually had children to PLAY with these children's toys wouldn't have time to make this shitty video.

Second...the description promises cats "doing kitty cat stuff". When's the last time you saw a bunch of cats just marching back and forth with American flags? And like, scaring off a puppy because he wasn't "respecting them"? That's what I thought. Never.

My favorite part of the video comes at the end, after the "Credits" (why?), when you learn that Bob got a paper-cut while making this video. And that it really hurt. You know what? I'm GLAD your paper-cut hurt, Bob. I hope it hurt as much as my soul hurt after watching your fake cats do fake cat shit.

Things Bree Is Obsessed With

I loves me some interwebz. And a few months ago I came across this complete gem of a human being. She is fantastical, and says things that make me laugh on a fairly consistent basis. She is incredibly popular on my little interwebz, yet I am still going to use my incredibly UN-popular blog to support her!

So kindly go check out the lovely Jenna Marbles on the Youtubes.

She's pretty.

And has adorable dogs.

And she's smart.

And funny.

And really pretty.

Hashtag Girl Crush.

Beard-o of the Week

This weeks Beard-o is a PnM first! A Beard-o that doesn't actually have a beard!

It's Ke$ha! She looked absolutely GORGEOUS at the 2012 VMA's last week, and she loves beards. I figured, why not!

Good on ya, girl. You look fab, and not at all like a crazy glitter-coated hooker!