does this commercial scream SUPER GAY to anyone else?

for your consideration

A List of Random Things That Amuse Me


~my cousin doing his "mentally challenged" impersonation (it's wrong, but it's so damned funny)
~the conan o'brian bud light commercial (vroom vroom, pah-ty stah-ter)
~adam t. siska
~isabella, pretty much just everything she does is ridiculous
~anything liz and i do together (even a trip to ihop can be pretty effing hilarious)
~lou, the little chihuahua on "the soup" on e!
~patrick dancing in those super tight pants
~also...the little noises he makes in the background of other bands' songs
~random people with horrendous hair that i see on the street (it's a force of habit to notice them)
~chocolate cake (not amusing, but it's freaking good)
~"relish" (some day i'll post it here, for your amusement)
~lolcats
~andy samberg
~little dogs in clothing (it's dumb, but it makes me giggle, so shut up)
~monkeys
~reruns of americas next top model
~late night infomercials

welcome back into my head

im back


i think


i've been in severe internet avoidance mode for a few weeks now, but i think i'm over it


i think


it's been kind of good for me, i suppose...i've gotten a lot of things done (that's a lie, flat-out, don't believe a word this bitch says)


in between working and falling apart over things i cannot control (read: cancer is a fucked up and rude piece of crap), i have done nothing...well, i have spent countless hours berating people in my head, which is actually quite a bit of fun, if you haven't tried it yet, i highly suggest it as a time consuming activity! and while i did manage to watch, from start to finish, the entire 7 season dvd set of buffy the vampire slayer in about a week and a half, i believe that falls under the category of "nothing"...feel free to correct me if i am incorrect (but i don't recommend it, because i'll probably hunt you down and fucking murder you, and not even in your sleep, like a good person would)


but on to bigger and better (not necessarily) things....


spread out over friday and saturday nights, and 20 minutes of saturday morning, i watched "twilight"...i have again come to the conclusion that this movie SUCKS...rpatz is, in every sense of the word, fucking HOT...

H-O-W-E-V-E-R

bitch can't act

i'm sorry, i apologize to all you fucking 13 year old girls (read: retards) out there that are now plotting my iminent death, but seriously...no...no no and no some more

also, much thanks to liz for pointing out the sparkle noise


*******~~~~~~~~~*******

p.s. lizzie, i fixed your links xo

special appearance by Jesse (Mr. Bedazzle) Balzer

this is what happens when you are stuck in your home (or in Jesse's case, dorm room) while an national emergency goes on outside. Random movie references and general boredom. Copied and pasted from our current MSN conversation.

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
i want to teach dinosaurs how to open doors

Liz~ i love the mayhem says:
good luck with that

Liz~ i love the mayhem says:
while we are on the subject of impossible dreams...i want my own patrick stump, i wouldn't even need an ipod anymore! i would just make him sing all the time

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
fair enough

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
he can sing to you and ill sit there and have dinosaurs open all the doors in the house

Liz~ i love the mayhem says:
ok, dont let them eat me or my patrick please

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
ok

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
hopefully they don't turn on me either

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
ill probably be in the bathroom and they'll open the door without knocking

Liz~ i love the mayhem says:
those bastards

Liz~ i love the mayhem says:
going to need to buy locks

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
i just don't want to be eaten when im on the toilet

Liz~ i love the mayhem says:
that did make for a great scene in the movie though

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
of course

Pinup on the Parking Meter says:
the guy deserved it. all lawyers do

Hello, my head is coming out of a giant vagina

Wal-mart scares me more and more each day. Yesterday I was standing by my locker and some guy walked by me and I swear to you he sniffed me. I swear it! The break room is a large room resembling a circus with super geeks talking about computer games, fat, mullet sporting women talking to themselves and a black kid in the back dancing to the music on his headphones. Last night I even got locked INSIDE the fucking store. Yes, I realize that we close on Saturday nights because we are a conservative (blatantly christian) state that doesn't allow stores to open on Sundays but you do not need to keep me inside my own personal hell. Oh well, I get paid well and I have to say that I enjoy it to some extent. I was always interested in psychology and sociology and this allows me to observe an abundance of species.

Anyway, if you are online and find yourself to be bored do not fear for I have some fun links for you.

first off: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion I have no idea who this guy is but he is hilarious and extremely observant. The thing about the crocs is so very true. If any of you own said product please do me a favor and castrate yourself now.

secondly: http://www.youshouldhaveseenthis.com Do me a favor and check all of these things out so next time we are having a conversation you can actually understand my whitty little nuances.

lastly: twitter http://twitter.com/missxanthrope If you don't already have one then you must to be stuck in 2008. Join our mindless chatter. We are all just looking for friends so we can update them on whenever we eat some 'rad pizza' or to just yell random words such as "garage" p.s. follow me, I am entertaining

EDIT: why won't links work right on this bastard? fuck me sideways. looks like you will have to copy and paste until Bree gets on here and fixes it because I am compu-tarded.

"Liz" is a synonym for "shitty"

...I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.
-Rob in "High Fidelity"

is that so wrong?

wow



big breaks from the interwebz for miss bree




it makes my soul hurt

Jackson Rathbone is a FOX!

Do you ever have dreams where you are desperately searching for a toilet and when you wake up you really have to pee?

That's pretty weird.

cause its nine in the afternoon

every so often, when im driving around listening to music very loudly, it again occurs to me just how amazing p.v.s. really is



p.s. im fully aware the title of this post is p(!)atmfd, and not mffob

It's not that I am an unfriendly person. I just don't like YOU.

You know those people that are always happy and smiling and energetic? I want to punch them. There is one where I work. You would think that she would understand that I don't want to talk to her when I look the other way and only provide one word answers, but she continues on like we are BFFs or something. This crazy bitch also loves to say "you betcha." For whatever reason, this phrase makes me violent. She says it as an answer to everything.

ok, rant over.

A Very Important Message from Bree

There is an evil lurking in your home. You probably don't even realize that it is there, but it is, waiting for any opportunity to strike at you, and possibly your loved ones. This evil exists in every home in America, and it is quite probable that it is in every home in the WORLD. Just imagine the havoc it could wreak if left unchecked!

This evil does not discriminate. This evil does not see race, religion, sex or age. This evil attacks the young, the old, the black, the white. It attacks little emo boys in their skinny jeans. It attacks Mr. Corporate Lawyer in his shiny shoes and neatly pressed suit. It goes after celebrities, it goes after celebutards. Somewhere right now, at this very instance, millions of people are being attacked as you read this. This evil is vicious, cruel and unjust. Just this morning, I myself was attacked by this evil. I was literally scarred for moments.

This evil is......the alarm clock. This demonic piece of electronic equipment rips poor unsuspecting sleepers directly from their slumber, throwing them into a horrifying cloud of "OMG WTF IS GOING ON?!?!" that can last for seconds on end! It tears them from their dreams, often just milliseconds before some form of fornication with some supermodel or another. It is a sad, sad situation.

This wretched being has recently attempted to disguise itself. Many of them are going undercover as radios, cd players, or other implements meant to convey the joy of music. But do not be fooled by these foes! They WILL attack you.

Lately, I have noticed a disturbing trend in their attempt to blend into your everyday lives. Somehow, the alarm clock has managed to infiltrate our front lines. It has maneuvered itself into the one thing that every American cherishes most closely to their soiled souls, aside from money. The alarm clock has implanted itself in our CELLULAR TELEPHONES. You may not even know it's in there, but it is. Oh, it is. And it is just waiting for the right opportunity to pounce on you. Beware, foolish cell phone owner, beware.

Please, if you have any concern for the safety of you and your family, round up the alarm clocks in your home, and DESTROY THEM. You may feel that this is not doing enough. That is a completely justified concern. If you are feeling as such, feel free to go down to your local hotel, and take every alarm clock you can find. Your friends and neighbors may not be aware of the danger, and their homes should be raided as well. We MUST fight. We MUST prevail.

Please, do your part. Demolish an alarm clock.


***This has been a public service announcement from the folks here at PnM***

sometimes i have urges to start fires...

this guy is officially my hero.

at least you spelled cock right this time

Gather around lads and lasses, it is story time. I would like to tell you all of a wonderful place called Angels and Kings in Chicago. The Breester and I were there for a fun little show one afternoon. That night we came back to get our drink on (and we did) the owner of the bar, a certain Pete Wentz, and his very pregnant wife were there. Also there was the drummer of The Plain White T's, Demar (if i spelled it wrong, I apologize, I am too white to spell some of these names). There was also a very drunk fangirl flailing around. Now I know what you are thinking...and NO this isn't a story about me, it was some other drunk fangirl, now pay attention! Anyway, she was harassing Wentz so he goes "hey hey, this dude (points to Demar) he wrote 'Hey there Delilah.'" I swear to you all that she pissed her pants over that. She started totally feeling him up. The whole time this is going on, me Bree and Wentz were laughing our asses off. I kind of feel bad for Demar but that shit was hilarious. Ok, so I am not the best story teller ever but that is some behind the scenes shit that you should be very appreciative of my sharing with you little people...lemmings, if I may.

I hope you enjoyed that bout of gloating and comment on this mofo or I may or may not shank you with a weapon I chisled out of a spoon while in prison. G'day!

have you ever wanted to disappear

i dont want to join a monastery, or go out and preach on manic street
just disappear


(if you dont get it, go buy yourself a copy of folie á deux, because youre seriously deprived and missing out)


i suppose you can just get rid of the parentheses, because im posting about music you SHOULD be listening to (and if youre not, well...go to hell)


obviously, ill start with fall out boys latest, folie á deux: i dont need to explain this, just go buy the damned thing, if you already havent


the veronicas latest album, hook me up: fancy dancey fun, its a good time, even though they do remind me an awful lot of TATU *mental shudder*


kelly clarksons newest single, my life would suck without you: because, well, my life would suck without you...or not, but i like the song, and im hoping the rest of the cd is good as well


there are others, but ive got stuff to do here, people
you could assume i have a life, or i could just tell you that ive gotta go to work
your choice

peace betches!

hes such a silly bitch

bitch, i will cut you

oh snap, hit the brakes!

i hope liz doesnt mind that i deleted her cursed double post


cause i just did


anyway


its my friend, the gigantic terrified deer head!


well call him ted


hes a good buddy o'mine


he resides in north dakota (liz will supply the city name, because i dont feel like remembering), in a saloon type environment


i believe (which doesnt necessarily make it true) that there was also a ginormous sombrero in this building

are you scared?

you should be. we are coming for you.

not one to be outdone

the story of Pump and Munch is quite simple, actually


whilst driving about Minneapolis, i believe it was a return from sallys after we turned lizzies hair orange, we drove past a gas station


it was a gas station unlike any other


it was......The Pump and Munch


im sure to normal people (do they exist, mulder?), this tiny little shit hole of an establishment had nothing comical to offer the world


liz and i, however, are deeply disturbed individuals


we cannot resist giggling uncontrolably at something labeled a "pump and munch"


i mean, honestly.....isnt it the first thing that came to YOUR mind, as well?



WELL, ISNT IT????????