I'm too busy making potions on Pottermore to post things.
So here.
Watch this.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Oh snap and a popsicle stick!
Heeeeeeeeey there internet world!
Life went ka-blooey again, and there was this big giant hiatus of blogdom, but things are (mostly) back on track (for now), so here we go!
(Sidenote, Bree got a new job [surprise!] and new hair [not surprise!])
First things first! I am soooooo late to the parade on this one. How late? So late that the only candy to be had are the shattered remnants of the bits that the little sticky handed children were too slow to pick up that got trampled by the horses. So sad. So very very....very sad. But! There is this awesomely hilarious lady on the youtubes. Her name is Hannah. She drinks. Then cooks. In her kitchen.
She's been around for a while now, but I am just now joining this drunken party (remember? Sad candy?)
Life went ka-blooey again, and there was this big giant hiatus of blogdom, but things are (mostly) back on track (for now), so here we go!
(Sidenote, Bree got a new job [surprise!] and new hair [not surprise!])
First things first! I am soooooo late to the parade on this one. How late? So late that the only candy to be had are the shattered remnants of the bits that the little sticky handed children were too slow to pick up that got trampled by the horses. So sad. So very very....very sad. But! There is this awesomely hilarious lady on the youtubes. Her name is Hannah. She drinks. Then cooks. In her kitchen.
She's been around for a while now, but I am just now joining this drunken party (remember? Sad candy?)
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Things Bree Is Obsessed With Part Deux
In this installment of Things Bree Is Obsessed With (or Things With Which Bree Is Obsessed for those of you who love grammar), we're going to cover ALL THE THINGS!
First up, the ALL THE THINGS meme. I less than three it. A lot. I say it. A lot.
Secondlyyyyyy, I'm not sure how many of you are learned individuals, but this man sounds like one, and if he sounds smart, I am going to assume that he is. He did an experiment. With monkeys (Sidebar, Bree is also obsessed with monkeys, but we can talk about that later). Watch it. Be entertained. I am obsessed with this for numerous reasons. First, the guys accent kicks. Second, the smart man makes a funny at the :59 mark. Next, how excited the monkey gets when he sees the other monkey get a grape. He's all "OOOOH! GRAPE! I GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THAT!". Adorable! And then, how PISSED THE EFF OFF that monkey gets when he does NOT get a grape. Even. More. Adorable.
Third thing third thing third thing! THIS!
First up, the ALL THE THINGS meme. I less than three it. A lot. I say it. A lot.
Secondlyyyyyy, I'm not sure how many of you are learned individuals, but this man sounds like one, and if he sounds smart, I am going to assume that he is. He did an experiment. With monkeys (Sidebar, Bree is also obsessed with monkeys, but we can talk about that later). Watch it. Be entertained. I am obsessed with this for numerous reasons. First, the guys accent kicks. Second, the smart man makes a funny at the :59 mark. Next, how excited the monkey gets when he sees the other monkey get a grape. He's all "OOOOH! GRAPE! I GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THAT!". Adorable! And then, how PISSED THE EFF OFF that monkey gets when he does NOT get a grape. Even. More. Adorable.
Third thing third thing third thing! THIS!
Friday, May 24, 2013
Beard-o of the Holy Crap It's Been A While
So after probably months and months of radio silence, I remembered how to turn on my computer! Hurray! Which, lucky for YOU, dear (lack of) readers, means MORE POSTS! Weeeeee!
So my first stop on the Tour de Fun is BotW. This weeks beard-o is Allen from The Hangover. But only the first one, because I hated the second one, and as I have yet to SEE the third one, I will not pass judgement on it.
So yay for Allen (y Carlos)!
So my first stop on the Tour de Fun is BotW. This weeks beard-o is Allen from The Hangover. But only the first one, because I hated the second one, and as I have yet to SEE the third one, I will not pass judgement on it.
So yay for Allen (y Carlos)!
Where Is Your Boy. No Seriously, Where Is He?
So it only took them 5 years, but my ears feel at peace once more. They're also still sort of ringing. Two days later. Yes. Yes yes yes yesssssssss. We had balcony seats. Which was cool. Cuz we didn't have to die in a pit of disease (pretty sure that's what happened down on the main floor, because it was hot as all hell in that venue), AND we had an unobstructed view. I'll take it. Sure, it felt like the whole place was going to collapse in shambles every time a song started. Sure, I spent most of the night pretty dizzy and terrified I was going to fall over the railing. But it's Fall Out Boy. Pretty sure I'd watch them from a chair filled with tacks.
Not sure if "I see you there, enjoying my music" or "Sit your ass down, fucker".
I don't recall Pete yelling at anyone at any point during the show. Mostly he just mumbled, so that as the next song started, everyone was sort of looking at each other like "...what did he just s - OH HEY I LOVE THIS SONG!". So what he was saying here, I truly do not know.
Pete's wearing some kind of skirt/cape/dress. We couldn't quite figure it out. I'm tempted to email Joan Rivers and ask her if she's got any thoughts. Cuz....no. Just no.
All is right in my world again.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Ol' What's his name
I don't normally post things from my own personal life here on PnM (yes, it's been known to happen, but usually in a comical and/or inserted type of way), but since I decided that if I had heard about this from someone, I would definitely have posted about it, I figured, eh, what the hell? (Just call me the future Mrs. Kroeger) (on second thought, DON'T)
Yesterday was the funeral for my uncle (my dad's younger brother). I didn't know him that well, he wasn't around us much. Old school family dramas and the like. His name was James. My grandma called him Jamie. We called him Jim. Some called him Jimmy, and someone yelled out "Jed!" yesterday, so I guess they called him that, as well. The minister? He called him Jeremy. Twice.
James/Jamie/Jim/Jimmy/PossiblyJed/Jeremy had a pet snake. He called him John. I called him Ucky. The minister called him Harold/Howard.
I was not a key figure in the funeral, I just sat quietly in my corner, listening intently. For an hour and a half (I thought funerals were usually like...what....half hour? 20 minutes if nobody liked you?). The minister read the obituary. My name was said 5 times. Dramatically wrong. My insistence that he "move on, it's fine" went unnoticed. (It should be noted that about 15 minutes before this, we had a 2 minute conversation about how to pronounce my name) But I fared better than my brothers. Their names didn't get pronounced, right or otherwise. Grandma later stated that the minister "kept looking away from his cards and losing his place".
The moral of the story: please hold my funeral service at a home that has teleprompters. Thank you, and good night.
Yesterday was the funeral for my uncle (my dad's younger brother). I didn't know him that well, he wasn't around us much. Old school family dramas and the like. His name was James. My grandma called him Jamie. We called him Jim. Some called him Jimmy, and someone yelled out "Jed!" yesterday, so I guess they called him that, as well. The minister? He called him Jeremy. Twice.
James/Jamie/Jim/Jimmy/PossiblyJed/Jeremy had a pet snake. He called him John. I called him Ucky. The minister called him Harold/Howard.
I was not a key figure in the funeral, I just sat quietly in my corner, listening intently. For an hour and a half (I thought funerals were usually like...what....half hour? 20 minutes if nobody liked you?). The minister read the obituary. My name was said 5 times. Dramatically wrong. My insistence that he "move on, it's fine" went unnoticed. (It should be noted that about 15 minutes before this, we had a 2 minute conversation about how to pronounce my name) But I fared better than my brothers. Their names didn't get pronounced, right or otherwise. Grandma later stated that the minister "kept looking away from his cards and losing his place".
The moral of the story: please hold my funeral service at a home that has teleprompters. Thank you, and good night.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
It's time for.....
Bizarre Youtube Videos with Bree!!!!
Welcome, welcome. Gather 'round, children. Today I have found something....well, it terrified me. In a weird adorable way.
So there's this cat video. I'll give you a couple minutes to watch it. Because that's like...how long it is.
Alright so let's get this party started. First thing...why are you using toy cats? When I googled "cats on parade", I wanted to see some live feline adorableness. Instead I got stuffed, Made-in-China, glass-eyed stop motion. All I can figure is that Bob and Trudi (The Shermans, if you like) have a house full of children's toys for some inexplicable reason. Anyone that actually had children to PLAY with these children's toys wouldn't have time to make this shitty video.
Second...the description promises cats "doing kitty cat stuff". When's the last time you saw a bunch of cats just marching back and forth with American flags? And like, scaring off a puppy because he wasn't "respecting them"? That's what I thought. Never.
My favorite part of the video comes at the end, after the "Credits" (why?), when you learn that Bob got a paper-cut while making this video. And that it really hurt. You know what? I'm GLAD your paper-cut hurt, Bob. I hope it hurt as much as my soul hurt after watching your fake cats do fake cat shit.
Welcome, welcome. Gather 'round, children. Today I have found something....well, it terrified me. In a weird adorable way.
So there's this cat video. I'll give you a couple minutes to watch it. Because that's like...how long it is.
Alright so let's get this party started. First thing...why are you using toy cats? When I googled "cats on parade", I wanted to see some live feline adorableness. Instead I got stuffed, Made-in-China, glass-eyed stop motion. All I can figure is that Bob and Trudi (The Shermans, if you like) have a house full of children's toys for some inexplicable reason. Anyone that actually had children to PLAY with these children's toys wouldn't have time to make this shitty video.
Second...the description promises cats "doing kitty cat stuff". When's the last time you saw a bunch of cats just marching back and forth with American flags? And like, scaring off a puppy because he wasn't "respecting them"? That's what I thought. Never.
My favorite part of the video comes at the end, after the "Credits" (why?), when you learn that Bob got a paper-cut while making this video. And that it really hurt. You know what? I'm GLAD your paper-cut hurt, Bob. I hope it hurt as much as my soul hurt after watching your fake cats do fake cat shit.
Things Bree Is Obsessed With
I loves me some interwebz. And a few months ago I came across this complete gem of a human being. She is fantastical, and says things that make me laugh on a fairly consistent basis. She is incredibly popular on my little interwebz, yet I am still going to use my incredibly UN-popular blog to support her!
So kindly go check out the lovely Jenna Marbles on the Youtubes.
She's pretty.
And has adorable dogs.
And she's smart.
And funny.
And really pretty.
Hashtag Girl Crush.
So kindly go check out the lovely Jenna Marbles on the Youtubes.
She's pretty.
And has adorable dogs.
And she's smart.
And funny.
And really pretty.
Hashtag Girl Crush.
Beard-o of the Week
This weeks Beard-o is a PnM first! A Beard-o that doesn't actually have a beard!
It's Ke$ha! She looked absolutely GORGEOUS at the 2012 VMA's last week, and she loves beards. I figured, why not!
Good on ya, girl. You look fab, and not at all like a crazy glitter-coated hooker!
It's Ke$ha! She looked absolutely GORGEOUS at the 2012 VMA's last week, and she loves beards. I figured, why not!
Good on ya, girl. You look fab, and not at all like a crazy glitter-coated hooker!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Beard-o of the Week
To atone for my sin (apparently this past weeks Beard-o is a repeat, shame shame), I present to you our NEW BotW....
This chick makes beards!! Out of....crafty shit!! I was just about to place an order when I came across her post that she had stopped selling/making beards. I am very saddened by this. Contemplating an attempt to get her to make me one anyway. Will keep you updated. Not sure why this now sounds like important telegram.
This chick makes beards!! Out of....crafty shit!! I was just about to place an order when I came across her post that she had stopped selling/making beards. I am very saddened by this. Contemplating an attempt to get her to make me one anyway. Will keep you updated. Not sure why this now sounds like important telegram.
I can haz cute?
Bree has requested that I start posting stuff on here again. I do believe she needs a little pick me up so why not post some cuteness. I discovered this famous internet cat by some miracle only a few weeks ago. Her name is Lil Bub. She was born as the runt of an otherwise normal litter of kittens. She, however, is very different. Her legs are very short while her body is very long. She has no teeth and her lower jaw is very small which leaves her tongue sticking out all of the time. She has many extra toes as well. Sounds like some hideous freak of nature? Definitely not. Actually the total opposite. Feast your eyes upon these adorable pictures.
Oh yeah, did I mention how adorable her owner dude is?
From what her owner says she is a very happy cat and doesn't seem to realize that she is any different from other cats. He is now very active in the pet adoption community. Lil Bub also has a webstore where you can get an awesome shirt with the cute little face on it and the proceeds go to animal adoption.
D-bag of the Whenever
Alert! Alert! Alert! Quick, someone make that breaking news "de de de de de" sound!
Guess what's back! It's the D-bag of the Whenever feature!!!! (and the peasants rejoice)
Soooooo, are you wondering who are D-bag of the We-got-the-site-back-up-and-running is? Are you?????
It is none other than......
Kristen Stewart!
Anyone who would cheat on that dear little bunny is a D-bag. Actually, I'm gonna go ahead and name her the D-bag of the Decade. At least until someone worse comes along.
So you cling to that title, sweetheart! Enjoy it! Embrace it!
God knows, you deserve it.
Trollop.
Tart.
Floooooooozy.
Ok, I'm done now.
Guess what's back! It's the D-bag of the Whenever feature!!!! (and the peasants rejoice)
Soooooo, are you wondering who are D-bag of the We-got-the-site-back-up-and-running is? Are you?????
It is none other than......
Anyone who would cheat on that dear little bunny is a D-bag. Actually, I'm gonna go ahead and name her the D-bag of the Decade. At least until someone worse comes along.
So you cling to that title, sweetheart! Enjoy it! Embrace it!
God knows, you deserve it.
Trollop.
Tart.
Floooooooozy.
Ok, I'm done now.
It's never been so easy!
Hey!
You!
Yeah, YOU! With your poor fingers singed! Were you trying to take your freshly made toast out of the toaster with your fingers again?
Does this happen to you every time you make toast?
Have you stopped eating toast, simply because you find it too difficult to remove the hot tasty treat from it's firey hell of a prison?
WELL LOOK NO FURTHER!!
It's TOAST TONGS!!!
Now you can free that unwieldy toast, everytime! No burnt fingers, no electrocution-by-knife-removal, just pick up your toast tongs, and voila! The toast is now OUT of the toaster!
(****sidenote**** who the fuck thinks this shit up?)
You!
Yeah, YOU! With your poor fingers singed! Were you trying to take your freshly made toast out of the toaster with your fingers again?
Does this happen to you every time you make toast?
Have you stopped eating toast, simply because you find it too difficult to remove the hot tasty treat from it's firey hell of a prison?
WELL LOOK NO FURTHER!!
It's TOAST TONGS!!!
Now you can free that unwieldy toast, everytime! No burnt fingers, no electrocution-by-knife-removal, just pick up your toast tongs, and voila! The toast is now OUT of the toaster!
(****sidenote**** who the fuck thinks this shit up?)
Yesssss
I'm having a craptastic sort of day, so I would like this to come and play with me today.
So. Much. Squee.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
I'M HOUDINI!!!
So I just found this little gem of a clip doing one of my faaaavorite activi-tays: searching "how to" on the Youtube.
Check this bad mama-jama out.
It seems to me that anyone with EYES would see you doing all of this. If one of my friends said to me: "Hey, would you like to see me escape from a pair of handcuffs?", I would surely exclaim "HECK YES!" in a fit of pure joy. But if they did so like THAT dude, in such obvious fashion, I would not be able to disguise my unimpressedivity. The man CLEARLY states that he thinks he is Houdini (****disclaimer**** PnM does not stand by this statement, as the man quite clearly states that he is going to show the viewer how to escape just LIKE Houdini did, but as Bree is a crazy bitch and captain of the Let's Take Shit Literal squad, well, you get what you get).
Someone find me a clip of Houdini escaping from some handcuffs. Oh, why thank you, Interwebz. Please be aware that a good third of this video is simply Senor Houdini removing his clothing to some dramatic piano music, but AFTER that, he escapes from his handcuffs! Oooooh! Aaaaah! While I would generally think that a nice small distraction from the fact that you are bending a bobby pin and jamming into a tiny hole while looking like you're having a seizure would do the trick, the Houd'ster chooses to jump into a river. A bit of overkill, but all in all....meh, I'll take it. Let's revist my friend scenario from earlier.........
Friend: "Say, would you like to see me escape from a pair of handcuffs while JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE?!?!"
Me: "HECK YES!", in a fit of pure joy.
Friend dives into the water, comes up splishing and splashing like a mofo.
Me: "You are so amazing"
Check this bad mama-jama out.
It seems to me that anyone with EYES would see you doing all of this. If one of my friends said to me: "Hey, would you like to see me escape from a pair of handcuffs?", I would surely exclaim "HECK YES!" in a fit of pure joy. But if they did so like THAT dude, in such obvious fashion, I would not be able to disguise my unimpressedivity. The man CLEARLY states that he thinks he is Houdini (****disclaimer**** PnM does not stand by this statement, as the man quite clearly states that he is going to show the viewer how to escape just LIKE Houdini did, but as Bree is a crazy bitch and captain of the Let's Take Shit Literal squad, well, you get what you get).
Someone find me a clip of Houdini escaping from some handcuffs. Oh, why thank you, Interwebz. Please be aware that a good third of this video is simply Senor Houdini removing his clothing to some dramatic piano music, but AFTER that, he escapes from his handcuffs! Oooooh! Aaaaah! While I would generally think that a nice small distraction from the fact that you are bending a bobby pin and jamming into a tiny hole while looking like you're having a seizure would do the trick, the Houd'ster chooses to jump into a river. A bit of overkill, but all in all....meh, I'll take it. Let's revist my friend scenario from earlier.........
Friend: "Say, would you like to see me escape from a pair of handcuffs while JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE?!?!"
Me: "HECK YES!", in a fit of pure joy.
Friend dives into the water, comes up splishing and splashing like a mofo.
Beard-o of the Week!
Now that we are back up and a-runnin', it's time for the latest installment of everyone's favorite....
BEARD-O OF THE WEEK!!!! Huzzah!!!!
This weeks Beard-o is brought to us by...well, by the same thing that brings just about every Beard-o our way, GOOGLE! According to our sources (whom we have just outed as being GOOGLE!!!!), this Beard-o comes to us in mugshot form. And it is a deeeeelight. A real hum-dinger. A bearded hole-in-.....half?
Enjoy!!
BEARD-O OF THE WEEK!!!! Huzzah!!!!
This weeks Beard-o is brought to us by...well, by the same thing that brings just about every Beard-o our way, GOOGLE! According to our sources (whom we have just outed as being GOOGLE!!!!), this Beard-o comes to us in mugshot form. And it is a deeeeelight. A real hum-dinger. A bearded hole-in-.....half?
Enjoy!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Bizarre Youtube Videos with Bree
I've decided to start a new section on PnM, because...that's what I do.
So, ladies and gentlemen (who are we kidding, we all know Rin is the only person who reads our blog), we present to you....
Bizarre Youtube Videos with Bree! In this section, your beloved (*ahem*) hostess will bring to your attention aterrifying delightful Youtube confection, and attempt to explain and/or understand it for/with you.
First up: THIS monstrosity of a puddle of crazy.
Everybody good and "what the fuck"ed out? Good. Let's get started.
Ok, first things first....WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO LOOK LIKE A UNICORN?! I mean, I love unicorns as much as the next freak, but I don't wander around thinking "how can I turn myself into a unicorn?!" at every moment of my day.
Second, is this girl Japanese? Cause I'm pretty sure she's faking it. I'm getting SERIOUS J-Pop America Funtime Now vibes off of this chick. (My apologies for the craptastic quality of the video in that link)
Nextnextnextnext, has anyone, in the history of people, ever met a person with that small of a face and that GINORMOUS of a set of eyeballs? And while we're on the subject of eyeballs, where does one buy My Little Pony contact lenses? Those seem like the sort of thing you'd have to go online to purchase, and I would imagine if you're able to purchase something online, enough people must be buying them for there to be a website devoted to selling them, WHICH MEANS.....there are more people out there trying to look like this.
Finally, does anyone else find this slightly racist? A little bit? A tad? And if so, do you find this more or less racist than someone wanting to dress up their friends half-asian 3 year old as a Wonton for Halloween?
So, ladies and gentlemen (who are we kidding, we all know Rin is the only person who reads our blog), we present to you....
Bizarre Youtube Videos with Bree! In this section, your beloved (*ahem*) hostess will bring to your attention a
First up: THIS monstrosity of a puddle of crazy.
Everybody good and "what the fuck"ed out? Good. Let's get started.
Ok, first things first....WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO LOOK LIKE A UNICORN?! I mean, I love unicorns as much as the next freak, but I don't wander around thinking "how can I turn myself into a unicorn?!" at every moment of my day.
Second, is this girl Japanese? Cause I'm pretty sure she's faking it. I'm getting SERIOUS J-Pop America Funtime Now vibes off of this chick. (My apologies for the craptastic quality of the video in that link)
Nextnextnextnext, has anyone, in the history of people, ever met a person with that small of a face and that GINORMOUS of a set of eyeballs? And while we're on the subject of eyeballs, where does one buy My Little Pony contact lenses? Those seem like the sort of thing you'd have to go online to purchase, and I would imagine if you're able to purchase something online, enough people must be buying them for there to be a website devoted to selling them, WHICH MEANS.....there are more people out there trying to look like this.
Finally, does anyone else find this slightly racist? A little bit? A tad? And if so, do you find this more or less racist than someone wanting to dress up their friends half-asian 3 year old as a Wonton for Halloween?
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